Becoming Bigger Than Our Pain Paperback

What do you say when someone you love is grieving?
What do you do when there isn't anything you can do to change what happened?

Becoming Bigger Than Our Pain was written for grieving people and for the family members, friends, coworkers, and others trying to understand how to help them.

Sandy Brosam shares what helped her, what hurt, what people said that stayed with her, and what she wishes more people understood about grief.

This is not an autobiography, although Sandy's own losses are part of the book. Her first son died in a car accident. Years later, another son died from cancer. Those losses changed her life and also changed the way she understood the things people say and do when someone is grieving.

Inside the book are personal stories, practical suggestions, reader letters, and examples of what can help and what can make an already difficult moment harder.

It also talks about something many people struggle with:

What do I say?

Sometimes there isn't a perfect thing to say.

Sometimes helping has less to do with finding the right words and more to do with understanding the person standing in front of you.

Although the book grew from Sandy's experiences with the deaths of her children, its message isn't limited to child loss. Grief can follow the death of a parent, sibling, spouse, partner, friend, pet, or anyone deeply loved.

There is no comparison chart for pain.

There is no timeline you have to follow.

There is no "right" way to grieve.

Inside This Book

• Personal stories about grief and loss
• What helped and what didn't
• Practical ways to support someone who is grieving
• Things people say with good intentions that may not help
• Reader letters and reflections
• A better understanding of what grief can look like in everyday life

You don't need to understand exactly what someone is feeling to care about them.

And you don't need the perfect words to be there.

Sometimes understanding how to help begins with understanding how to listen.